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			<h1 id="section_0">Anon "Wily" Mous vs Applejack the Sheriff</h1><ul id="page-actions" class="hlist"><li id="ca-edit" class="icon icon-32px icon-edit" title="Edit the lead section of this page."></li><li id="ca-talk" class="hidden icon icon-32px icon-talk"><a href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php?title=Talk:Anon_%22Wily%22_Mous_vs_Applejack_the_Sheriff&amp;action=edit&amp;redlink=1" title="Discussion about the content page [t]" accesskey="t">Discussion</a></li><li id="ca-watch" class="watch-this-article icon icon-32px"><a href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php?title=Special:UserLogin&amp;returnto=Anon+%22Wily%22+Mous+vs+Applejack+the+Sheriff" title="Add this page to your watchlist [w]" accesskey="w"></a></li></ul>		</div>
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<td><b>Writefag</b>
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<td> Mr_Zed
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<td><b>Pastebin link</b>:
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<td><b>Pastebin creation</b>
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<td>Monday 29th of August 2016 10:25:39 PM CDT
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<td><b>Last Pastebin update</b>
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<td>Wednesday 31st of August 2016 04:02:56 PM CDT
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</div><h3><span class="mw-headline" id="Anon_.22Wily.22_Mous_vs_Applejack_the_Sheriff">Anon "Wily" Mous vs Applejack the Sheriff</span><a href="Anon_&quot;Wily&quot;_Mous_vs_Applejack_the_Sheriff#/editor/1" title="Edit section: Anon &quot;Wily&quot; Mous vs Applejack the Sheriff" data-section="1" class="edit-page icon icon-32px icon-edit enabled">Edit</a></h3><div>
<div dir="ltr" class="mw-geshi mw-code mw-content-ltr"><div class="gettext source-gettext">&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You are Anon &quot;Wily&quot; Mous</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ya got that name by breaking out of every pony prison cell they put you in.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Turns out most locks here aren't designed with fingers in mind.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Right now, you are riding the last train out to a little podunk town by the name of Appaloosa</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Seeing as that's one of the most popular fruits of the day, their makin a pretty penny down here.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Meaning there's a lot of money waiting somewhere out there waiting to be taken by you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As you gaze across the wide open desert, the sky begins to change color as the sun goes down.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Better get some sleep, got a lot of information to hunt down tomorrow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As you pull down your hat and settle into your seat for the night, an unnoticed pair of emerald eyes study you intensely.</span><br /><br />-=-=-=-=-=-<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You are Applejack, and yer tailin Anon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ain't nothin but trouble when he gets a new outfit and skips town.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So this time your gonna tag along and make sure he don't do nothin stupid.</span><br /><br />~~one lonesome train ride later~~<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As the sunlight shines through your window, you wish you had splurged a little and gotten a sleeper car.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As you stretch and attempt to ease the aching pain in your neck, you can feel eyes on you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Snapping around, you see nopony, just a little brown cowboy hat hanging on a hook by the corner of the car.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it looks somewhat familiar, but you dismiss it as your neck pangs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your on your way to the little ol' west town of Equestria, there's bound to be plenty of ponies sporting those things.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gathering up all of your one bags, you wait for the train to pull into station.</span><br />https://soundcloud.com/cloud_23/06-blue-funk<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Climbing down the little steps of the carriage, you toss a bit at the conductor.</span><br />&quot;I was never here, alright?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You got it, Mr. Green Hoof.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;guess that's the 'John Smith' in Equestria.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Looking around the little town, you deem it a little too early to drink, so you head over to the building with the apple over it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Hopefully they'll have pastries or something.</span><br /><br />-=-=-=-=-=-<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Having woke up a bit before the crack of dawn, you thought yourself a tad famished, and grabbed an apple from your bag.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Chewing it quietly, you creep over to the booth that Anon was sittin' in.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yup, still there.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Boy his neck is gonna be sore when he wakes up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As you study him, the sun peeks over the horizon, striking the tall green man directly in the eyes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As he begins to stir, you run to the other side of the car, your hat flying off on the way.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You try and hide your breathing, hoping he didn't see ya.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When you think that the coast is clear, you chance a peek around the corner and see Anon dozing off again, this time fully dressed with his bag slung over his shoulder.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He's also got some funny lookin orange shades on.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Is he the only weird one, or are all o' them humans nuts like he is?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You decide to hide under your seat until he leaves the car, and follow him out about a minute later.</span><br />&quot;'Scuse me Mr. Conductor, ya'll seen the tall green feller get off? Where'd he go?<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm sorry miss, I haven't seen anybody that would match that description.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Damn, he's good if he can slip by the trainponies.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Specially since you were the only two to come into town.</span><br />-=-=-=-=-=-<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Stepping into the small building, you find the interior surprisingly clean compared to the worn looking sign outside.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;dropping your strap wrapped bag by one of the tables, you walk up to the mare at the counter</span><br />&quot;Pardon me miss, might a man find some breakfast here?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Why, certainly! What're ya hankerin for, stranger?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Anything sweet and filling, ma'am. and the name's Green Hoof.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well if your lookin to fill your belly and satisfy your sweet tooth, you came to the right place! Here at the Candy Apple, we got danishes, doughnuts, pies, bear claws, berliners, cinnamon rolls--&quot;</span><br />&quot;Cinnamon rolls sound great. Do ya'll got coffee?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yessiree! Will that be all for you Mr. Hoof?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You spy a bunch of bananas hanging in the corner</span><br />&quot;I'll also take a banana.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Alrighty, that'll be 12 bits.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sitting down to enjoy your breakfast, you spot a pony's ponytail tail out the window.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Only one mare you know wears her tail like that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Looking through the crowd, you see glimpses of orange and the same brown hat from the train.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Finally, you see her signature three-apple ass tattoo.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well damn it all, she followed you all the way from Ponyville!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The legendary lasso mare, Applejack! She's the only pony who could take you down when you broke out.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Scarfing down your breakfast, you try and think of a way out as she walks toward the Candy Apple.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As you're about to throw out your trash, you spy the banana peel.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It just might work.</span><br /><br />-=-=-=-=-=-<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Trotting over to the Candy Apple, you see a tall silhouette in the window.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That's gotta be him!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As you head for the doors, the figure disappears.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Breaking into a canter, you open the door--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Suddenly you are flipping backwards, and land on your face.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As the taste of copper enters your mouth, you feel a gust behind you and the door opening and shutting.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Whirling around you throw the door open, only to see the regular townsfolk walking about.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You look back inside, and find it empty save for the mare behind the counter.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Had you imagined it?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You look down to see what you slipped on.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Really? A banana peel?</span><br />&quot;Miss, was there a man by the name of Anon here?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Nope, just Mr. Green Hoof stoppin by to get some breakfast.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Back to the search. You really wish you hadn't lost that damn ape.</span><br /><br />-=-=-=-=-=-<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Wandering from building to building, you spend the rest of the morning looking at all the little shops that Appaloosa has.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Though as you step out into the street and see the sun resting at the top of the sky, you decide to get down to business.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Business being information hounding at the bar.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As you pass through the double doors, all occupants stop and look at you, including the old pony at the player piano.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Walking to the counter, eyes still following and judging you, you sit down and give a nod to the bartender.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What'll it be, stranger?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Could this get any more cliche?</span><br />&quot;Give me whatever you got on tap.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;One Apple Cider it is, then.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Figures.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As the brown stallion slides the pint to you, he asks, &quot;So what brings you all the way out here, cowboy?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Now here's a chance to get some info.</span><br />&quot;I've been thinkin about settin up shop out here, try my hand at brewing some good ol' fashioned whiskey.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You take a swig of the amber fluid in front of you. Damn ponies, still haven't figured out alcohol yet.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;One of the haggard looking stallions behind you speaks up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Wiss-key? What in tarnation is that?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Whiskey, my friend, is a traditional drink from my homeland that grants the drinker a smoother tongue and a boost in confidence.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;At this, the whole bar laughs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Boy, we got plenty o' potions that'll do that and more.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Can you buy a <span class="nu0">32</span> ounce potion bottle for less than <span class="nu0">100</span> bits? 'Cause my stuff will cost a fraction of what those stuffy potions do.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Wait, why are you arguing about this again?</span><br />&quot;Anyway, I don't exactly have the money on hand to set up an operation like that. Ya'll have a bank somewhere that I can get a loan big enough for a building and some supplies?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Why, we got one of the finest banks in the county, right around the corner. Can't miss it, says BANK right on the front.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You'll never understand their generic naming conventions.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Finally the conversation in the bar is picking back up, so you don't feel like you need to watch every word.</span><br />&quot;Okay, hopefully I can find it. Is it a nice place? Good n' secure? I don't want to leave my later profits in a place that's gonna get robbed once a week.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Sir, there ain't a safer place for money this side of the Everfree Forest! We got 10 guards in rotation, 6 during the day and 4 at night. Only change over at sundown and sunrise, but they run like clockwork; no delay between shifts.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Really? No delay? Those night guards sound like some kinda nocturnal bat-folk.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey, we're regular ponies just like everybody else, ya darn ape!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh, this is just too easy.</span><br />&quot;Sorry fellas, didn't mean to insult you four.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Reaching into your bag, you bring out a large clay jug.</span><br />&quot;As apologies, I'll let you sample my product.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;As the sun approaches the horizon, you look across the bar and find that everypony there was black out drunk, including the four night guards.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Time to make a shitload of bits.</span><br /><br />-=-=-=-=-=-<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've searched darn near every building, and you still haven't a clue where that stupid green chimp ran off to.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Finally, you trot up to the bar. You probably should have looked here sooner.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Opening the doors, you find it eerily quiet.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As your eyes adjust, you realize that for some reason, everypony is takin a nap.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You jostle the nearest stallion awake.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Huh-wha-&quot;</span><br />&quot;What the hay went down here?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, that nice tall guy came in--Mr. Green Heart? Green Hooves?--he came in and showed us all this stuff he made called whiskey. It's really good!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gosh darnit! He brought his damn alchomohols with him again.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What time is it? Oh no, I'm almost late! BOYS, WAKE UP! THE BANK AIN'T BEIN' GUARDED!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The bank?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Of coarse, he's trying to pull of a heist!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Charging out of the doors, you finally spy Anon walking out the bank with two big bags over his back.</span><br /><br />-=-=-=-=-=-<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well, that went rather well, if you do say so yourself.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Easy robbery, nobody resisted.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The teller even gave you an instinctive &quot;have a nice day&quot; on your way out.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And above all, no sign of--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;AAAAANOOOON! I KNEW YOU WERE UP TA NO GOOD!&quot;</span><br />https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wtX49JFiSo<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Turning to the voice, you see the orange pony herself, pulling her whip out of some saddlebags.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You plop down your bags fulla money and turn to her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As you stare down each other, you swing back your poncho to reveal...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;HE'S GOT A GUN!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well, not really. For these ponies though, a Nerf gun is terrifying.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Left hand going to your hip, you keep your eyes on the element of harmony.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;At this point, all the ponies have run off or hid somewhere, leaving just the two of you and a couple passing tumbleweeds.</span><br />&quot;I went too far, worked too hard for this payout to go back now, AJ.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ah see. Well, I guess we'll just have to settle this the old fashioned way.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Seems so.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Narrowing your eyes, you watch her lasso as she winds up, waiting for her to send it your way.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As you see the hoop begin it's path towards you, you unholster your trusty Hammershot? and take aim.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The dart leaves it's barrel, and you dive to the right, just barely dodging the rope hoop as it flies toward you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When you look back, AJ has a smirk on her face. You missed!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Off in the distance, you hear the whistle of the train.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Grabbing your bags and slinging them over your right shoulder you make a run for it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can see out the corner of your eye that AJ reeled in her lasso and is already resetting for another go.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Swinging around and running backwards, you send two more darts her way.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's forced to dodge, throwing off the swing she was gettin into.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You round the corner and can see the station.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're almost there!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As you watch, the train hisses loudly and slowly begins to move.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Looking back, you can see the little orange pony charging after you, determination in her eyes and lasso at full swing over her head.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Jumping the platform and running to the engine, you throw one last foam projectile in her direction, causing her to slow down a little to avoid it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Holstering your weapon, you grab a handle and pull yourself onto the locomotive just as it picks up speed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Finally, one of your schemes worked!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As you revel to yourself, you peer back over your shoulder, only to see the lasso once again coming down on you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It tightens around your arms and waist, causing you to let go and drop off of the train. A quick tug pulls you clear of the wheels.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The bags of bits break open and the cash flies everywhere.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You roll to a stop, and as the dust settles, you look up to see a smug little grin with an annoying blonde pony attached to it.</span><br />&quot;What kinda hero spills everypony's bits all over the damn tracks?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;The kind that catches the bad guy&quot;, she says as she throws you on her back.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, looks like we got quite a wait until the train comes back. Better get comfy in them ropes, Anon.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9G5d2BKm2K4 plays as she walks towards the train station, into the sunset.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Today was a hell of a waste kind of day in Equestria.</span></div></div>




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